Did you go outside today? As soon as I got out of 학원 to head for the subway station, I felt that the winter time has finally come around. It is real cold outside. The temperature dropped sharply, obviously.

I’m wearing a wool coat today but just think to myself that I may have to take out my goose-down jumper. Hope you all get dressed with warm clothes.

Anyway, another year is waning. I know that also means a new one is drawing near. But for a woman in her 30s, it’s not really good news. It feels like a new year only makes me one year older than now.

Up until I was in my 20s, I felt excited to greet a new year. I would get a new diary, come up with new year’s resolutions, and hope for a better year looking forward to meeting new friends and maybe, a new boyfriend (only when I didn’t have one, of course). But as you get older, you just become less excited since not much around you is supposed to change.

But this year, I’m really waiting for the year 2018 to come soon even though I’ll be one year older than now. Why? My baby will come to this world! She is growing inside me now, making me feel so curious about how she would look like. But at the same time, I’m worried that I’m not prepared well enough to be a good mom. I just try to comfort myself thingking no one has ever been born to be a perfect mom in the first place.

One thing I’m very determined about is that I will teach my girl to learn precious things and values that she needs to keep in mind. I will not obsess over private education and force her to go to those academies, just like my mom didnt’t force me.

Maybe from next week, which would be after all thise graduate school tests and interviews, I would have to read as many childcare books as I can before meeting my baby next year.